Prep - The Wedding Entourage

1:18:00 PM

We've gotten to the age where we start to receive more than 3 wedding invites a year! Mel has held roles like being a wedding pianist and flower girl (when she was still small, round and cute), while Ben has taken on roles as an emcee and wedding singer at a few weddings. We've never been to a wedding together yet though, but in a few month's time, it would be our first as a couple (yes Claire, it would be yours! :)).

Apart from the group of Bridesmaids and Groomsmen that is commonly formed, you will also need to appoint relatives or friends as marriage witnesses, form an AV team, assign money keepers etc. You will definitely need as much help as you can during your pre-wedding preparations and on the actual wedding day. Save being Superman and Superwoman for another time! Of course, being a wedding guest is super important as well because your presence would make the day more meaningful and memorable for the wedding couple.

So here's another wedding task for you to strike off after confirming your wedding date and settling the wedding venue! As a couple, talk through it and pen down a list of friends you would like to invite as helpers for your wedding.

Church Wedding

  • Witnesses / Sponsors - They need not be married, or married to one another and can be male or female.
  • Best Man
  • Maid-of-Honor
  • Bridesmaids & Groomsmen
  • Page Boy(s) & Flower Girl(s)
  • Reception Team
  • Usher Team
  • Church Decor Team
  • Groom & Bride Car Drivers
  • Money and Gift In-charge

The Maid-of-Honor & Bridemaids (a.k.a Sisters)
There are no rules or limits to how many bridesmaids you should have for your wedding. Usually it will all depend on how many gal pals the Bride would like to include in her entourage. If you happen to have a group of 10 girlfriends who are inseparable, you probably will need to invite all 10 of them to be in the troop. You could risk it and just ask half of them, but beware of cat fights that might follow! Haha. Some of the Bridesmaids duties include:
  • Be of the most help you can ever be. The Bride might need help in an array of tasks: from helping to decide which floral arrangement looks better, to writing names on Invitation Cards, or even picking out which wedding gown suits her best.
  • Plan a memorable Hen's night for the Bride. Book a venue and prepare a party agenda!
  • Scout for decoration ideas, wedding inspirations and follow Bride to recce venues and for meetings with wedding vendors. If you're really busy and are not available to follow the Bride, the best way would be to download Pinterest and send related pins to the Bride for reference;

She will definitely appreciate the effort you're putting in to help out!
  • Shop for Bridesmaid outfits and accessories. Or if the Bride is offering to purchase and pay for them, offer to come up with a list of dress sizes and heights of all Bridesmaids. Be nice even if the colour of the dress is not to your liking.
  • If you know her relatives and friends well enough, offer to help out with the seating arrangement. From the process, you will get to remember names better and be able to assign guests to their seats on the actual wedding day.
  • Help dress the Bride and make sure that her makeup is in top condition before she meets her guests or take photographs.
  • Be at the Wedding Rehearsals (Church and Dinner Banquet) if possible, so that you have a dry run on what to expect on the wedding day. 
  • Ensure that at least 1 bridesmaid is with the Bride 24/7 on the wedding day, helping out with getting drinks, food or other last minute errands if needed.
  • Last but not least, give the Bride emotional and moral support throughout the entire journey. You never know when you might need her help in future as well :) 
From the group, appoint one of the Bridesmaids to be the Maid-of-Honor, the leader of the pack who will help you to oversee all Bridesmaid duties and roles. More often, wedding discussions would take place in whatsapp group chats. Though convenient, it would still be ideal to create a Google Doc / Spreadsheet to include updated to-dos and information for all Bridesmaids to view and edit. 

The Best Man & Groomsmen (a.k.a Brothers)
Similarly, there isn't a fixed number to have, but would be good if you can match the number of bridesmaids to groomsmen (an equal ratio). This group of "brothers" come in really handy especially if you're doing a Gate-Crashing ceremony (which we aren't, lucky for Ben!), because they will be joining the Groom to complete a list of tasks / games (e.g. drinking bitter-gourd juice or wearing kinky DIY costumes) before the Groom is able to enter the home of the Bride. Other duties include:
  • Planning the Stag Night / Bachelor's Party. Expect a lot of booze.
  • Drink up for the Groom during table-to-table toasts (Yum Seng) if the Groom is approaching his K.O limit.
  • Be at the Wedding Rehearsals (Church and Dinner Banquet) if possible, so that you have a dry run on what to expect on the wedding day.
  • Supporting the Groom throughout his preparation journey and on the wedding day itself. You'll never know, he might be more nervous than the Bride!
  • Double check on Groom's attire on the actual wedding day.
  • Run errands and be his no.1 "Saigang Warriors" a.k.a Man Slaves. Haha.
Many men, like Ben, would probably want to invite many brothers as he treasures his friends a lot! But inviting your friends to attend the biggest day of your life, as a witness to your promise to love someone forever, is already a strong testament to your friendship and brotherhood. So don't fret if you don't have a role for all your friends!

  • Main Co-ordinators
  • Reception Team
  • Money and Gift In-charge
  • Ushers
  • AV In-charge
  • DJ / Music Co-ordinator
  • Emcees
  • Food & Drinks Co-ordinator
  • Tea Ceremony Co-ordinators
A friend was sharing with us on the importance of getting a trustworthy family member to be in charge of the Red Packet (Angbao) Collection Box on the wedding day. It was unfortunate that one of her reception team helpers had stolen quite a huge sum from some of the red packets. So always make sure to lock the box and do not leave it unattended or in the hands of friends whom you aren't close to.

We are currently in the midst of filling up our wedding helpers list! Even though the list might grow closer to the wedding day, it is always good to start somewhere! Leaving you with a poem that Mel proposed to her Bridesmaids with (and they have agreed! task accomplished!) just a few days back :)

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