What Matters Most.- An important update (Ben)

3:14:00 PM

We apologise for being inactive in our blog for the past month as it has been a really hectic month.

There were so many things that happened that I do not know where to start.

Just under a month back, my dad was diagnosed with stage 4 Colon cancer, which has affected his other organs, even his brain. The doctor told us that he only has 3 months to 1 year to live.

When the doctor told the news to my dad, in the presence of my family, we held back our tears, trying to stay strong for each other. Even my dad took it in his stride and said that he will accept God's plans for him.

But when the doctor left us to talk among ourselves, and as we spoke our minds, we couldn't control our tears. When dad told us that he has no choice, as much as he wants to witness all the different milestones in our lives, he couldn't.

I knew how much he wanted to witness my wedding, and I knew how much I wanted him to be there. So that's why Mel and I chose to bring forward our wedding and discarded all the plans that we originally had for our wedding. We don't have the time to exercise, to diet for our wedding and even had to cancel our Korea pre-wedding shoot. We don't even have a house to move into. But to me, all these don't matter at all. All that matters to me, is my family.

Initially, I accepted that my dad would be leaving us in a couple of months, and I just wanted him to leave peacefully and painlessly. But as I talk more friends and family, I realized that my faith in God hasn’t been strong. With my renewed faith, I have a stronger belief that my Dad, with God’s grace, will make a recovery and defy the predictions of the Doctors.

Due to my Dad's illness, I did not have the mood to post "happy" and "encouraging" messages on social media like I used to. But when I felt how much my Dad wanted us to be happy, I picked myself up again and tried to live life normally, but paying more attention to loving people I treasure more.

Regardless of how long my Dad has with us, we are taking no chances, and we are living everyday as though it will be the last. We organised more dinners at home, planned for parties and even went for our first family photoshoot.

I also took the chance to take a graduation photoshoot with my parents as well. A promise that I made and a wish that my parents have always had since I was young.

I also fulfilled another promise by bringing my little sister to Jay Chou's concert, a promise I made 6 years ago.

My father isn't a perfect person, nor is he a perfect father. But he tries his best to be one. I've learnt many life lessons from him when I was young, to be tolerant, forgiving and benevolent. With his illness, he taught us another greater lesson. To be resilient and always fight for your family.

Just a couple of days he whatsapped our family a selfie with the following messages:

"Like my new look?" 

"Let's gear up and fight!"

It was a tough month and I believe it will get tougher. But I have faith that we will pull through this together as a family. 

Mel has been a superwoman, planning our wedding from scratch. She practically did 99% of the work. If there was a business that I think that she should consider going into, that'd probably be wedding planning.

I am grateful for all the love and concern that I've received over the past month. It is an extremely difficult time for my family and I, but we are trying our best to cope as best as we can. If there's an advice that I'd like to offer our friends and readers, here it is:

Our parents may not be as educated or well-informed as we are, they may not be as financially literate as we are. But they will do what they think is their utmost best for the family, be it in an ill-advised method.

My dad's illness also taught me to express my love even more and cherish whatever time I have with my family because you'll never know how much time you have with them. I've always wanted to carve a successful career, earn lots of money so that I can provide a nice retirement for my parents; live in a big house, relieve them of any financial burdens. But as I scrolled through my conversations with my dad in whatsapp, I realised that he kept repeating the same thing over the past years.

"I am already proud of you as my son. All I want is a happy and healthy family."

My dad is happiest when we are all home for a dinner, with lots of laughter and companionship. With whatever time that he has left, we will always make time for that.

Stay healthy my friends, not just for yourself, but for your family. Stay happy as well. Life is short and unpredictable, live and let live. Some quarrels can be avoidable if you can just focus on love. Because with love, comes tolerance and forgiveness.

My dad wants to witness our wedding, this important milestone of our life. But we want him to witness more milestones and share more happiness with us. So please pray for us and pray for my dad, Mr Anthony Kwan, that he will be a testimony of God's miracles.

In 2 weeks time, I will be fulfilling yet another promise. A lifelong promise.

To love Melody Forever, in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad.

P.S: Today, 31st Dec 2014, we are celebrating our 7th year together as a couple. :)

We will continue to write more often, and frequently if we can, regardless of how busy and tied up we are. We thank all our friends and readers for sending us comforting messages and praying for us. May God bless all of you, and your families, with the best of health and happiness always.

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